"Staying up late and getting nothing done since 1828!"
Friday, September 3, 2010

8/16/2004

The ActionScript Jabberwocky

It may not be apparent from many of the random postings I've made here, but one of the main reasons for the existence of Turdhead.com is to provide a space for creative Web-based art, writing, animation and of course, lens flare effects. A turdhead is, after all, not only a geek (of which the internet is full), but also a generally well-read, cultured and sociable sort — a geek that occasionally makes it out into the real world, not only by accident but occasionally even under their own free will.

With that in mind, I have decided to revel in my geekdom and admit that the following sort of thing actually DOES provide me with some sick sense of nerd amusement. It will probably appeal only to fellow Flash programmers, and even then perhaps, only to the true Actionscript aficionado, but regardless, we (i.e., I) hope you enjoy the following:

In the time-honored geek tradition of translating great works of literature into unintelligible crap, I present The ActionScript Jabberwocky:

Actionscript jabberwocky

By the way, if you too are a huge Actionscript geek and/or Turdhead and want to express your own literary dreams, drop us a line! Or better yet, get your very own copy of the ActionScript Jabberwocky on a poster, T-shirt, mouse pad or baby!


Limited time only! Get your poster now!

Addendum: You may also want to check out the follow-up article to this post, and see what other people with too much time on their hands came up with in the forums.

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94 Responses to “The ActionScript Jabberwocky”

  1. [...] Tuesday, August 17th 2004
    The ActionScript Jabberwocky

    The ActionScript Jabberwocky. Mmmmhmmm.

    Late evening, in Seen Online, Asides [...]

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  2. [...] etc) as well as mental. Even though I’m not an ActionScript programmer, I still like The ActionScript Jabberwocky. And I’m not a Perl programmer (yet) but I may have to learn. There is [...]

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  3. [...] nbsp;05 September 2004

    The ActionScript Jabberwocky – Turdhead.com [del.icio.us/tag/art]
    5:36:19 PM  comment(com [...]

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  4. [...] real, honest-to-goodness, geek-fest in which the code itself becomes the poetry. (See the ActionScript Jabberwocky for an example of what we’re looking for.) As for prizes: What would a gee [...]

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  5. My god, whats next.. befunge jabberwocky?

    Report this comment


  6. Well, If I remember the poem correctly, its beware the jabberwock MY son…

    I have no knowledge of actionscript, BUT, would it be expressed better as…
    self.son.beware(jabb….)
    or something similar?

    Report this comment


  7. Beautiful!

    Report this comment


  8. What the hell is this?

    Report this comment


  9. Nice one! Flash is cool!

    Report this comment


  10. Methinks you have been slashdotted

    Report this comment


  11. Jabberwocky

    Report this comment


  12. Uh oh, your getting slashdotted. Well no matter, good luck with your hosting bill. I do notice that AS is quite similar to PHP. Neat

    Report this comment


  13. Hmm..comments broken or just pending for moderation? Prolly pending for moderation. Nice to see another wordpress user though!

    Report this comment


  14. You need to get a life!

    Report this comment


  15. This is appalling, even for geeks….

    Report this comment


  16. Lovely stuff! Nicely done, found this on Slashdot btw, so might be an idea to batten down the hatches on your server ;)

    Report this comment


  17. /.tted!

    Report this comment


  18. The ActionScript Jabberwocky
    This made me smile: The Jabberwocky in ActionScript (Macromedia Flash’s scripting language). It’s another one of those that you’ll really need to be a proper geek to appreciate, but it’s really quite good.

    Perhaps you need to be a Lewis Carrroll…

    Report this comment


  19. You’ve just been slashdotted. Congrats!

    Report this comment


  20. Fantastic!
    Memorized that poem in 5th grade and remember it to this day.
    Also did a bunch of Actionscript just last night for a webcam and used the poem for a password.
    Uncanny timing!

    Report this comment


  21. ha, kinda makes me want to fire New Adventure Shell :)

    Report this comment


  22. You just demonstrated so elegantly why I prefer imperative/procedural languages (perl, PHP, K&R C, assembly) over object-oriented (java, javascript, Python). I want to tell the computer how to process my data, not tell the data how to get processed by the computer!

    Report this comment


  23. LMAO… ok ive seen sht written a million different ways.. but seriously man you have too much time on your hands to rite shit like this lolz..
    this would have to be the funniest most strange yet understandable code ive ever seen.. (and ive seen some strange ones… (computer stupidites).

    God man find something productive to do! LMAO

    Celticknight

    Report this comment


  24. dear god….

    Report this comment


  25. Cool! Oh, and FIRST!

    Report this comment


  26. wow, and I thought I had too much free time…

    Report this comment


  27. very cool / funny….and you’ve been /.’d you know :)

    Report this comment


  28. Aceness!
    :D

    Do you do requests?

    Report this comment


  29. Ha! That’s great.
    PS – The guy who wrote comment #19 should slit his wrists. ROFLOLZZZZZ!!!!!1111

    Report this comment


  30. n0x00b sez: Hey, I tried to compile this, but it ain’t workin’! Can’t find no actionscript compiler within my portage tree, maybe you could do a port to perl or provide an ebuild for it… :)

    Report this comment


  31. Nice Work. WHat’s Next, The Bible Code or maybe I got it The Davinci Code LOL…..

    Report this comment


  32. you need to update this…maybe bring it into the 21st century…

    “T’was Brillo and the G.E. Stoves
    Did Proctor Gamble in the Glade,
    All Pilsbury were the Tastee loaves
    And in a Minute Maid”
    -Mad Magazine

    anyway…you get the idea

    ;)

    Report this comment


  33. Massive cool. BTW, the Jabberwock came “whiffing” not “whiffling”, and the blade is a “vorpal blade.” Perhaps V2 could make those changes.

    Report this comment


  34. Looks like I passed the nerd test because I did not understand any of that crap.

    Report this comment


  35. Agreed… No clue what just transpired. I guess I was out on my BMX too much as a kid ;)

    Report this comment


  36. Nice piece of code. Very Funny LOL!

    Report this comment


  37. you rule. i have to seriously consider getting one of them posters.

    Report this comment


  38. Doesn’t really work … son.sword has type set to “vorpal” before use (“he took his vorpal sword in hand”) but not son.blade (“The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!”). Isn’t that going to cause problems? Can you alias son.blade to son.sword somewhere? Am I taking this too seriously?

    Report this comment


  39. The ActionScript Jabberwocky
    This is really geeky but merits a post: The Jabberwocky, as written in ActionScript. Anyone got any more of these?…

    Report this comment


  40. I did a term paper on this poem in 9th grade and found out that the words in the poem do mean things. I believe “slithy toves” means shy badgers, and “borogroves” means turtles. I may be a bit rusty, however, it has been 16 years.
    I remember that I spent most of my time writing the thing trying to come up with words that would all meet at the right hand margin so it would look nice, and I recall even changing my letter spacing to get it all lined up. Great job. Brought back some fun memories of obsessive compulsive behavior.

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  41. *bows before you* I’ve always wanted somone to do this! You r0x0r!

    Report this comment


  42. Damn, does the fact I found that great make me a geek?
    And what about the fact that I followed it even though I’ve never looked at ActionScript before?

    Report this comment


  43. Great work, as an actionscript junky i appreciate the effort, and the creativity to fit the poem into an AS framework.

    Report this comment


  44. Hmm…a consideration, instead of son and blade couldn’t he invert it and access it with _parent.

    LOL

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  45. In what class is beware() and snicker_snack, etc defined in. i just compilation error after error. ;-)

    Report this comment


  46. I
    LOVE
    THIS
    !

    Report this comment


  47. haha! very nice. must have the tshirt.

    Report this comment


  48. Very interesting indeed. I read the poem many many many years ago and I forgot it.I’d like to see the original posted with it, for reference.
    Good job

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  49. brilliant, you should make it compile though ;)

    Report this comment


  50. Yes yes he’s been slashdotted, he gets it. I’d absolutely love it if that happened to my site, and this one’s holding up perfectly well.

    I SO wish I’d read that book now, cause I’m an actionscript programmer and I’d probably be laughing my arse off even more than I already am. And, hey, I think *real* actionscript junkiness would be if someone (besides me) blotched a few sprites, compiled this and watched what happens.

    Report this comment


  51. It is “whiffling”, not “whiffing”, canticle. I should know, I recited it for a talent show. This is completely awesome! :) Congrats, you’ve just been slashdotted!

    Report this comment


  52. ‘Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
    Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
    All mimsy were the borogoves,
    And the mome raths outgrabe.

    “Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
    The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
    Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
    The frumious Bandersnatch!”

    He took his vorpal sword in hand:
    Long time the manxome foe he sought –
    So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
    And stood awhile in thought.

    And, as in uffish thought he stood,
    The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
    Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
    And burbled as it came!

    One, two! One, two! And through and through
    The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
    He left it dead, and with its head
    He went galumphing back.

    “And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
    Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
    O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!’
    He chortled in his joy.

    For those who don’t know the original poem well, here’s the original text, copied from http://www.jabb...abberwocky.html

    ‘Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
    Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
    All mimsy were the borogoves,
    And the mome raths outgrabe.

    Report this comment


  53. I have no idea how to “run” this, but I am curious if a well placed syntax
    error would produce the last 50 pages of Ulysses.

    Report this comment


  54. sorry, obviously not the correct one to understand any of this but “Coodos” on the excellent responses. As for the guy who left comment #19- He must not have too much to do either if he is reading your script and has nothing better to do but down your achievement. Me thinks he may have ISSUES….. Luv ya lots! deettle

    Report this comment


  55. to quote some other people
    “I thought I had no life”,

    but still, that is seriously cool

    Report this comment


  56. /. I finally got it after the 52nd post.

    Report this comment


  57. Please post this as plain text! It’s sick and lovely!

    Report this comment


  58. viod Comment;
    {
    int count = 0;

    char result;

    while(laughing==TRUE && count < 100)
    {
    readagain(http://www.turdhead.com/index.php?p=21);

    count++;
    }

    result = (type(comment));

    return result;
    }

    Report this comment


  59. Very cool.
    Thought I never saw ActionScript before …
    I must say it really has some coherent syntax.

    Report this comment


  60. Dude…Rock on.

    Report this comment


  61. cout< < “This sucks\n”;
    do { } while(1);
    cout<< “Just kidding\n”;

    Report this comment


  62. Dude, I’m sure I agreed with the rest of these people who have posted…if only I could figure out what that means. Obviously, this is too advance for me. I’m gonna spend a little more time on it this weekend and try to figure it out. I really hope it’s as cool as all that! I can’t wait.

    Report this comment


  63. I always thought I was a nerd and spent years dealing with that fact. I don’t get it and now I’m worried I’m far more normal than I thought. Now I have to deal with that! Oh crap!

    Report this comment


  64. You have taken Actionscript to a new level. Thanks for sharing.

    Report this comment


  65. var brillig;

    This variable is unused.

    I’m not familiar with ActionScript – I believe it’s something from Macromedia (spit). To encode “‘Twas brillig” in Java, I think I’d have used notation something like “new Brillig().twas();”. And you’d need to import some non-existent library to obscure the fact that nobody really knows what most of the words mean. I agree with the commentators who say that the code should compile. That apart, it reads very nicely!

    Report this comment


  66. Great! Good sense, excellent nonsense. Surely brillig!

    Report this comment


  67. That is some good work, I too want to create literary works of code. So I am working very slowly on a geek novel which will use xml and shell scripting to describe the scenes/chapters etc. So far I have only got as far as a basic storyline idea.
    As to geekdom. It is my opinion that a geek is what you describe as a turdhead and nreds are those who are unsociable and don’t get out.

    Report this comment


  68. damn! this is good :)

    Report this comment


  69. Added to Wikipedia (http://en.wikip...#External_links).

    Report this comment


  70. ActionScript Jabberwocky
    http://www.turd.../index.php?p=21

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  71. the son.blade of ["vorpal" blade went snicker snack] does not reference back to son.sword so “vorpal” is not present as an attribute in the class of blade and blade is not known as a sword per an association.

    My assumption is that only a vorpal blade goes snicker snack whereas any old generic blade probably just goes wicker whack

    Report this comment


  72. Oh hay, looks like this page is on slashdot.

    Report this comment


  73. Very nice poetry. I felt a tear touch my cheek.

    Report this comment


  74. Brilliant!

    Yes, do get out some more.

    Report this comment


  75. It made my day! Thank you! And now I notice it’s in binary as well -it’s just great!

    Report this comment


  76. ActionScript Jabberwocky and the sequel
    So, the appealingly-named TurdHead blogger (time for self-esteem class, Turdy) wrote an ActionScript version of The Jabberwocky poem. It’s an amusing bit of geekery. Then it got Slashdotted, drawing a bunch of fire form people who consider ActionScrip…

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  77. Jabberwocky Redux
    Jabberwocky Redux: Last week’s ActionScript Jabberwocky got Slashdotted and such… good thing it was just a 150K JPG file instead of something with audio, or else bandwidth costs might have been high. Anyway, VeryVito is apparently very sorry to have…

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  78. Very funny indeed! Though I must say that your usage of global variables is not what I would call “best pratice”. Also most of the objects and methods are still undefined. For a start I’ve quickly thrown together a Kid class:

    NB: Rest of comment moved to Turdhead forums (http://www.turd...wtopic.php?t=18)

    Report this comment


  79. Re: Post 49 by Glenn. Please forward name of your attorney. I laughed so hard at your
    post I fell out of my chair and hurt my back. You have a dangerous sense of humor and
    I sure hope you have a lot of insurance. I would like to thank you for your comments but
    I won’t since my attorney has advised me it will jeapordize my law suit. But I’m really looking
    forward to seeing you in court. Please don’t crack the judge up ’till I’ve been awarded
    damages, plus a few million $ for pain, and suffering! John

    Report this comment


  80. Now when will these people learn, name ur varibles with apropiate names so u can upon them later on, honestly

    Report this comment


  81. This is ace, but I could really use a XUL Jabberwocky.

    Report this comment


  82. You people are freakin scary….

    Report this comment


  83. (chant with me) War and Peace…War and Peace…War and Peace!

    Report this comment


  84. i’m writing an english essay on the poem, this is the only thing i’ve found that has helped at all! seriousily good
    stuff, wish i could do it!!!!!!

    Report this comment


  85. Now I remember why I left IT ;-)

    Report this comment


  86. Everyone who says that nerds should get out more are mad. If you had any more of a life you might not have created this masterpiece. I love it but like some people have said I’d like to see a complete version with methods defined and such. Nice though.

    Report this comment


  87. [code]
    import com.wonderland.time.*;
    import com.wonderland.location.*;
    import com.wonderland.fauna.*;
    import com.wonderland.flora.*;
    import com.wonderland.item.*;

    public class Then extends Brillig implements ParentListener{
    private Tove[] oTov = new Tove("slithy")[Tove.MAXCOUNT];
    private Borogove[] oBor = new Borogove("mimsy")[Borogove.MAXCOUNT];
    private Rath[] oRth = new Rath("mome")[Rath.MAXCOUNT];
    private Jabberwock oJbrwk = new Jabberwock();
    private Sword oSwrd = new Sword(true);
    private Head oHd;
    private boolean bResponse = false;

    public Then(Person pSon){
    int i;
    int i2;
    boolean bRsp = false;

    this.setScene()
    oJbrwk.append(new JabberwockJaws());
    oJbrwk.append(new JabberwockClaws());
    pSon.beware(oJbrwk);
    pSon.beware(new Jubjub());
    pSon.shun(new Bansdersnatch("frumious"));
    pSon.hand.append(Sword);
    iLoc = pSon.startSearch(oJbrwk, Foe.MANXOME);
    while(!oJbrwk.isIn(iLoc) && (pSon.getSearchTime() < Person.MAX_SEARCH_TIME) && !pSon.tired){
    iLoc = pSon.nextSearch();
    }
    if(iLoc.getNearestTreeType == Tree.TYPE_TUMTUM){
    oJbwrk.append(new Eyes("flame"));
    oJbrwk.whiffleTo(Woods.LOC_TULGEY);
    oJbrwk.startBurble();
    pSon.stand();
    pSon.startThought('uffish');
    while(pSon.getThoughtSubject != oJbrwk){}
    pSon.stopThought();
    for(i = 1; i <= 2; i++){
    for(i2 = 1, i <= 2; i++){
    oSwrd.goThrough(oJbrwck);
    oSwrd.goThrough(oJbrwck);
    oHd = oJbrwk.detach("head");
    }
    }
    pSon.galumphTo(pSon.parent.Loc);
    while(!bResponse){}
    this.setScene();
    }
    }

    public void parentJoy(){
    if(oJbrwk = null){
    pSon.setSpeechMode(Person.SPEECH_CHORTLE);
    pSon.goTo(pSon.parent.getArms().getLoc());
    pSon.parent.speak(new Day("frabjous").toString());
    pSon.parent.speak("Callooh!");
    pSon.parent.speak("Callay!");
    }
    bResponse = true;
    }

    public void setScene(){
    this.theWabe();
    for(i = 0; i < oRth.length; i++){
    oRth[i].outgrabe();
    }
    }

    public void theWabe(){
    int i;
    for(i = 0; i < oTov.length; i++){
    oTov[i].gyre();
    oTov[i].gimble();
    }
    }

    protected class JabberwockJaws extends Jaws{

    public void doBite(Object o){
    o.setBitten(true);
    }
    }

    protected class JabberwockClaws extends Claws{

    public void doCatch(Object o){
    o.setCaught(true);
    }
    }

    protected class Sword extends Blade{
    private int iShrp;

    public Sword(boolean bVorpal){
    if(bVorpal){
    iShrp = Blade.DEFAULT_SHARPNESS;
    } else{
    iShrp = Blade.MAX_SHARPNESS;
    }
    }

    public int getSharpness(){
    return iShrp;
    }
    }
    }
    [/code]

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  88. This is exactly the kind of thing I’ve been looking for, but when is someone going to design an English to Actionscript dictionary/phrasebook?

    Report this comment


  89. [...] Keep in mind, this is not a call for Flash interpretations of literary works (See Vidlit.com for that sort of thing), but a real, honest-to-goodness, geek-fest in which the code itself becomes the poetry. (See the ActionScript Jabberwocky for an example of what we’re looking for.) [...]

    Report this comment


  90. good god.

    Report this comment


  91. Who was the original writer of this amasing poem

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  92. Caitlin, the original “Jabberwocky” was penned by Lewis Carroll in “Through the Looking Glass.”

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  93. I love the jabbowocky Poem!!!
    At sch we have to make r own version and my hero is a secret spy agent!LOL!

    Report this comment


  94. [...] I’m thinking about ActionScript, this is as good a time as any to revisit the venerable ActionScript Jabberwocky. Enjoy. The ActionScript Jabberwocky, from [...]

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