The ActionScript Jabberwocky

It may not be apparent from many of the random postings I’ve made here, but one of the main reasons for the existence of Turdhead.com is to provide a space for creative Web-based art, writing, animation and of course, lens flare effects. A turdhead is, after all, not only a geek (of which the internet is full), but also a generally well-read, cultured and sociable sort — a geek that occasionally makes it out into the real world, not only by accident but occasionally even under their own free will.

With that in mind, I have decided to revel in my geekdom and admit that the following sort of thing actually DOES provide me with some sick sense of nerd amusement. It will probably appeal only to fellow Flash programmers, and even then perhaps, only to the true Actionscript aficionado, but regardless, we (i.e., I) hope you enjoy the following:

In the time-honored geek tradition of translating great works of literature into unintelligible crap, I present The ActionScript Jabberwocky:

Actionscript jabberwocky

By the way, if you too are a huge Actionscript geek and/or Turdhead and want to express your own literary dreams, drop us a line! Or better yet, get your very own copy of the ActionScript Jabberwocky on a poster, T-shirt, mouse pad or baby!


Limited time only! Get your poster now!

Addendum: You may also want to check out the follow-up article to this post, and see what other people with too much time on their hands came up with in the forums.

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94 thoughts on “The ActionScript Jabberwocky

  1. RavenFireclaw says:

    It is “whiffling”, not “whiffing”, canticle. I should know, I recited it for a talent show. This is completely awesome! :) Congrats, you’ve just been slashdotted!

  2. John says:

    ‘Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
    Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
    All mimsy were the borogoves,
    And the mome raths outgrabe.

    “Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
    The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
    Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
    The frumious Bandersnatch!”

    He took his vorpal sword in hand:
    Long time the manxome foe he sought —
    So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
    And stood awhile in thought.

    And, as in uffish thought he stood,
    The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
    Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
    And burbled as it came!

    One, two! One, two! And through and through
    The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
    He left it dead, and with its head
    He went galumphing back.

    “And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
    Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
    O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!’
    He chortled in his joy.

    For those who don’t know the original poem well, here’s the original text, copied from http://www.jabberwocky.com/carroll/jabber/jabberwocky.html

    ‘Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
    Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
    All mimsy were the borogoves,
    And the mome raths outgrabe.

  3. glenn says:

    I have no idea how to “run” this, but I am curious if a well placed syntax
    error would produce the last 50 pages of Ulysses.

  4. Your cousin says:

    sorry, obviously not the correct one to understand any of this but “Coodos” on the excellent responses. As for the guy who left comment #19- He must not have too much to do either if he is reading your script and has nothing better to do but down your achievement. Me thinks he may have ISSUES….. Luv ya lots! deettle

  5. joe says:

    to quote some other people
    “I thought I had no life”,

    but still, that is seriously cool

  6. malachi says:

    /. I finally got it after the 52nd post.

  7. Jason Van Cleve says:

    Please post this as plain text! It’s sick and lovely!

  8. Murdoch says:

    viod Comment;
    {
    int count = 0;

    char result;

    while(laughing==TRUE && count < 100)
    {
    readagain(http://www.turdhead.com/index.php?p=21);

    count++;
    }

    result = (type(comment));

    return result;
    }

  9. Josh says:

    Very cool.
    Thought I never saw ActionScript before …
    I must say it really has some coherent syntax.

  10. SLM Code Monkey says:

    Dude…Rock on.

  11. Alex says:

    cout<< “This sucks\n”;
    do { } while(1);
    cout<< “Just kidding\n”;

  12. Eric says:

    Dude, I’m sure I agreed with the rest of these people who have posted…if only I could figure out what that means. Obviously, this is too advance for me. I’m gonna spend a little more time on it this weekend and try to figure it out. I really hope it’s as cool as all that! I can’t wait.

  13. ozbox says:

    I always thought I was a nerd and spent years dealing with that fact. I don’t get it and now I’m worried I’m far more normal than I thought. Now I have to deal with that! Oh crap!

  14. dave says:

    You have taken Actionscript to a new level. Thanks for sharing.

  15. Mr. Demeanour says:

    var brillig;

    This variable is unused.

    I’m not familiar with ActionScript – I believe it’s something from Macromedia (spit). To encode “‘Twas brillig” in Java, I think I’d have used notation something like “new Brillig().twas();”. And you’d need to import some non-existent library to obscure the fact that nobody really knows what most of the words mean. I agree with the commentators who say that the code should compile. That apart, it reads very nicely!

  16. Great! Good sense, excellent nonsense. Surely brillig!

  17. metalhero says:

    That is some good work, I too want to create literary works of code. So I am working very slowly on a geek novel which will use xml and shell scripting to describe the scenes/chapters etc. So far I have only got as far as a basic storyline idea.
    As to geekdom. It is my opinion that a geek is what you describe as a turdhead and nreds are those who are unsociable and don’t get out.

  18. eokyere says:

    damn! this is good :)

  19. Mike DiMartino says:

    the son.blade of ["vorpal" blade went snicker snack] does not reference back to son.sword so “vorpal” is not present as an attribute in the class of blade and blade is not known as a sword per an association.

    My assumption is that only a vorpal blade goes snicker snack whereas any old generic blade probably just goes wicker whack

  20. Oh hay says:

    Oh hay, looks like this page is on slashdot.

  21. Kakalto says:

    Very nice poetry. I felt a tear touch my cheek.

  22. mori says:

    Brilliant!

    Yes, do get out some more.

  23. Bernt says:

    It made my day! Thank you! And now I notice it’s in binary as well -it’s just great!

  24. ActionScript Jabberwocky and the sequel
    So, the appealingly-named TurdHead blogger (time for self-esteem class, Turdy) wrote an ActionScript version of The Jabberwocky poem. It’s an amusing bit of geekery. Then it got Slashdotted, drawing a bunch of fire form people who consider ActionScrip…

  25. JD on MX says:

    Jabberwocky Redux
    Jabberwocky Redux: Last week’s ActionScript Jabberwocky got Slashdotted and such… good thing it was just a 150K JPG file instead of something with audio, or else bandwidth costs might have been high. Anyway, VeryVito is apparently very sorry to have…

  26. Very funny indeed! Though I must say that your usage of global variables is not what I would call “best pratice”. Also most of the objects and methods are still undefined. For a start I’ve quickly thrown together a Kid class:

    NB: Rest of comment moved to Turdhead forums (http://www.turdhead.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=18)

  27. zentek says:

    Re: Post 49 by Glenn. Please forward name of your attorney. I laughed so hard at your
    post I fell out of my chair and hurt my back. You have a dangerous sense of humor and
    I sure hope you have a lot of insurance. I would like to thank you for your comments but
    I won’t since my attorney has advised me it will jeapordize my law suit. But I’m really looking
    forward to seeing you in court. Please don’t crack the judge up ’till I’ve been awarded
    damages, plus a few million $ for pain, and suffering! John

  28. Fudge says:

    Now when will these people learn, name ur varibles with apropiate names so u can upon them later on, honestly

  29. Paul Birnstihl says:

    This is ace, but I could really use a XUL Jabberwocky.

  30. Dr. Doom says:

    You people are freakin scary….

  31. mckay says:

    (chant with me) War and Peace…War and Peace…War and Peace!

  32. kat says:

    i’m writing an english essay on the poem, this is the only thing i’ve found that has helped at all! seriousily good
    stuff, wish i could do it!!!!!!

  33. jbsys says:

    Now I remember why I left IT ;-)

  34. Edrihan says:

    Everyone who says that nerds should get out more are mad. If you had any more of a life you might not have created this masterpiece. I love it but like some people have said I’d like to see a complete version with methods defined and such. Nice though.

  35. JavaDork says:

    [code]
    import com.wonderland.time.*;
    import com.wonderland.location.*;
    import com.wonderland.fauna.*;
    import com.wonderland.flora.*;
    import com.wonderland.item.*;

    public class Then extends Brillig implements ParentListener{
    private Tove[] oTov = new Tove("slithy")[Tove.MAXCOUNT];
    private Borogove[] oBor = new Borogove("mimsy")[Borogove.MAXCOUNT];
    private Rath[] oRth = new Rath("mome")[Rath.MAXCOUNT];
    private Jabberwock oJbrwk = new Jabberwock();
    private Sword oSwrd = new Sword(true);
    private Head oHd;
    private boolean bResponse = false;

    public Then(Person pSon){
    int i;
    int i2;
    boolean bRsp = false;

    this.setScene()
    oJbrwk.append(new JabberwockJaws());
    oJbrwk.append(new JabberwockClaws());
    pSon.beware(oJbrwk);
    pSon.beware(new Jubjub());
    pSon.shun(new Bansdersnatch("frumious"));
    pSon.hand.append(Sword);
    iLoc = pSon.startSearch(oJbrwk, Foe.MANXOME);
    while(!oJbrwk.isIn(iLoc) && (pSon.getSearchTime() < Person.MAX_SEARCH_TIME) && !pSon.tired){
    iLoc = pSon.nextSearch();
    }
    if(iLoc.getNearestTreeType == Tree.TYPE_TUMTUM){
    oJbwrk.append(new Eyes("flame"));
    oJbrwk.whiffleTo(Woods.LOC_TULGEY);
    oJbrwk.startBurble();
    pSon.stand();
    pSon.startThought('uffish');
    while(pSon.getThoughtSubject != oJbrwk){}
    pSon.stopThought();
    for(i = 1; i <= 2; i++){
    for(i2 = 1, i <= 2; i++){
    oSwrd.goThrough(oJbrwck);
    oSwrd.goThrough(oJbrwck);
    oHd = oJbrwk.detach("head");
    }
    }
    pSon.galumphTo(pSon.parent.Loc);
    while(!bResponse){}
    this.setScene();
    }
    }

    public void parentJoy(){
    if(oJbrwk = null){
    pSon.setSpeechMode(Person.SPEECH_CHORTLE);
    pSon.goTo(pSon.parent.getArms().getLoc());
    pSon.parent.speak(new Day("frabjous").toString());
    pSon.parent.speak("Callooh!");
    pSon.parent.speak("Callay!");
    }
    bResponse = true;
    }

    public void setScene(){
    this.theWabe();
    for(i = 0; i < oRth.length; i++){
    oRth[i].outgrabe();
    }
    }

    public void theWabe(){
    int i;
    for(i = 0; i < oTov.length; i++){
    oTov[i].gyre();
    oTov[i].gimble();
    }
    }

    protected class JabberwockJaws extends Jaws{

    public void doBite(Object o){
    o.setBitten(true);
    }
    }

    protected class JabberwockClaws extends Claws{

    public void doCatch(Object o){
    o.setCaught(true);
    }
    }

    protected class Sword extends Blade{
    private int iShrp;

    public Sword(boolean bVorpal){
    if(bVorpal){
    iShrp = Blade.DEFAULT_SHARPNESS;
    } else{
    iShrp = Blade.MAX_SHARPNESS;
    }
    }

    public int getSharpness(){
    return iShrp;
    }
    }
    }
    [/code]

  36. Will says:

    This is exactly the kind of thing I’ve been looking for, but when is someone going to design an English to Actionscript dictionary/phrasebook?

  37. [...] Keep in mind, this is not a call for Flash interpretations of literary works (See Vidlit.com for that sort of thing), but a real, honest-to-goodness, geek-fest in which the code itself becomes the poetry. (See the ActionScript Jabberwocky for an example of what we’re looking for.) [...]

  38. Violet says:

    good god.

  39. Caitlin says:

    Who was the original writer of this amasing poem

  40. VeryVito says:

    Caitlin, the original “Jabberwocky” was penned by Lewis Carroll in “Through the Looking Glass.”

  41. Emma The STAR!!! says:

    I love the jabbowocky Poem!!!
    At sch we have to make r own version and my hero is a secret spy agent!LOL!

  42. [...] I’m thinking about ActionScript, this is as good a time as any to revisit the venerable ActionScript Jabberwocky. Enjoy. The ActionScript Jabberwocky, from [...]

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