I'd love to tell you for whom to vote, but I don't want it to sound like an endorsement. After all, who wants to be endorsed by a Web site called Turdhead.com? I know who I'm voting for, and I'm actually looking forward to it.

But if you are still undecided… just think about the things that are important to you, and take a look (quickly) to see who best represents your ideas on those issues. After all, the United States is still a representational democracy; so, in theory at least, our leaders are supposed to represent us as much as possible. Or at least, not make us look like complete assholes.

See you on Wednesday, and may the best candidate's attorneys win!