"Practicing the lost art of sniffing since 1872!"
Wednesday, December 3, 2008

« Earlier articles Later articles »

4/3/2006

Judges sought for 2006 ActionScript Poetry Contest!

OK, OK… We're late getting this year's ActionScript Poetry candidates wrapped up and prepared for judging, but at last, here they are! You have less than two week's to cast your vote for a winner in this year's ActionScript Poetry Contest.

Without further ado, let us introduce — in no particular order — the finalists among this year's selection of literary wonders from the world of ActionScript Programming (Lost? See this post for rules and guidelines, or check out last year's entries for a little history.):

First, let's contemplate Satori Canton's poetic comparison between a summer's day and thee:

<pre>
// Sonnet 18: Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
// by William Shakespeare
// ported to ActionScript by Satori Canton
//
// Original poem can be viewed at:
// http://plagiarist.com/poetry/915/

var summer:Object = {};
var thee:Object = {};

summer.name = "Summer Day";
thee.name = "Thee";

summer.lovelyness = 9;
thee.lovelyness = 10;

summer.temperature = 98;
thee.temperature = 98.6;

summer.lease = new Date(2006, 7, 31).getTime()
-new Date(2006, 5, 1).getTime();
thee.lease = new Date(2042, 6, 12).getTime()
-new Date(1970, 8, 25).getTime();

summer.complexion = 0xFFCC33;
thee.complexion = 0xFFCCCC;

summer.fair = 10;
thee.fair = 10;

summer.getValue = function():Number {
return --this.fair;
};
thee.getValue = function():Number {
return this.fair;
};

summer.incrementTime = function():Number {
return --this.lease;
};
thee.incrementTime = function():Number {
return this.lease;
};

var man:Object = {};
man.hasEyes = true;
man.canBreath = true;
man.lease = 10000;
man.liveLong = function():Void {
this.lease++;
};
man.giveLife = function(o:Object):Void {
o.lease++;
trace(o.name+" is given life");
};
man.compare = function(o1:Object, o2:Object):Void {
if (this.canBreathe && this.hasEyes) {
this.liveLong();
var n1:Number = 0;
var n2:Number = 0;
var o1isBetter:Boolean;
for (var i in o1) {
if (typeof (o1[i]) == "function") {
o1isBetter = o1[i]()>o2[i]() ? true : false;
} else {
o1isBetter = o1[i]>o2[i] ? true : false;
}
if (o1isBetter) {
trace(i);
}
n1 += Number(o1isBetter);
n2 += Number(!o1isBetter);
}
this.giveLife(n1>n2 ? o1 : o2);
}
};

man.compare(summer, thee);

</pre>

And our next contestant brings us a translation of the the Ogden Nash classic, "Reflections on Ice-Breaking," concerning the relative merits of liquor over candy:

<pre>
/* http://www.westegg.co...ash/ice-breaking.html */
class OgdenNash {

private static var DANDY:Number = 500000;
private static var QUICKER:Number = 50;
private var candy:Number;
private var liquor:Number;

function OgdenNash() {
candy = getCandy();
liquor = getLiquor();
}

private function getCandy():Number {
var i:Number;
for (i=0; i < dandy ; i++) {
// wait...
}
return DANDY;
}

private function getLiquor():Number {
for (i=0; i < QUICKER; i++) {
// wait...
}
return QUICKER;
}
}

</pre>
</pre>

Thirsty for more? Have no fear: Stuart Bray brings us the ActionScript equivalent of Rudyard Kipling's classic poem, "If."

<pre>

function if(you){
/* "IF" by Rudyard Kipling,
Actionscript translation by Stuart Bray (www.snappyfingers.co.uk)
*/
If(you.head.owner == you && you.allAbout.head.owner == null{
if(you.trust(you) && allMen.doubt(you)){
if(you.wait() && you.tired == false){
if(you.canDream && you.Master != Dreams){
if(you.meetWith("Triumph","Disaster"){
if(you.winnings > 0 && (Math.random()*pitchAndToss 0){
if(you.force(you.heart, you.nerve, you.sinew).time > you.life.time){
if(you.unforgivingMinute.fill(60, "seconds", distanceRun)){
earth.belongsTo = you
earth.everythingInIt.belongsTo = you
you.aMan = true
you.mySon = true
}else{
earth.belongsTo = null
earth.everythingInIt.belongsTo = null
you.aMan = false
you.mySon = false
}
}
}
}
}
}
}
}
}
}

</pre>

And now we come to our final entry in this year's contest: Carlos Nazareno's rendition of Elizabeth Barrett Browning's "How Do I Love Thee?"

<pre>

/*
Gotten from
http://www.object404....y/howDoILoveThee.html

How Do I Love Thee?
a poem by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

ported to ActionScript by Carlos Nazareno
for The 2006 Actionscript Poetry Contest

Original poem can be viewed at:
http://www.poetry-onl...ow_do_i_love_thee.htm
*/

var howDoILoveThee:Object = newObject;
howDoILoveThee.ways = new Number();

var iLoveThee:Number;

var maxMovieclipDepth:Number = 1048575;
var maxBitmapWidth:Number = 2880;
var maxBitmapHeight:Number = 2880;
var maxFlashLoops:Number = 200000;

var Being:Number = maxFlashLoops/2;
var idealGrace:Number = maxFlashLoops/2;

var feeling:Number = Number.POSITIVE_INFINITY;
var sight:Number = Number.MAX_VALUE;

var Praise:Number = 0;
var freely:Number = 1;
var purely:Number = 1;

var oldGriefs:Object = new Object();
oldGriefs.passion = new Object();

var childhood:Object = new Object();

childhood.faith = new Object();
var myLostSaints:Object = new Object();
var allMyLife:Object = new Object();
allMyLife.breath = new Object();
allMyLife.Smiles = new Object();
allMyLife.tears = new Object();
var death:Boolean = false;

this.createEmptyMovieClip("mySoulReach", this.getNextHighestDepth());
this.createEmptyMovieClip("sun", this.getNextHighestDepth());
this.createEmptyMovieClip("candlelight", this.getNextHighestDepth());
this.createEmptyMovieClip("man", this.getNextHighestDepth());

var i:Number = 0;

howDoILoveThee.ways = 0;

if (feeling > sight) {
for (i=0; i < (Being + idealGrace); i++) {
mySoulReach.swapDepths(maxMovieclipDepth);
iLoveThee = mySoulReach.getDepth();
howDoILoveThee.ways ++;

mySoulReach._width = maxBitmapWidth;
iLoveThee = mySoulReach._width;
howDoILoveThee.ways ++;

mySoulReach._height = maxBitmapHeight;
iLoveThee = mySoulReach._height;
howDoILoveThee.ways ++;
}
}

with(sun) {
this.createEmptyMovieClip("everyday", this.getNextHighestDepth());
everyday.createEmptyMovieClip("mostQuietNeed", everyday.getNextHighestDepth());

iLoveThee = everyday.mostQuietNeed.getDepth();
}
howDoILoveThee.ways ++;

with(candlelight) {
this.createEmptyMovieClip("everyday", this.getNextHighestDepth());
everyday.createEmptyMovieClip("mostQuietNeed", everyday.getNextHighestDepth());

iLoveThee = everyday.mostQuietNeed.getDepth();
}
howDoILoveThee.ways ++;

man.strive = function():Void {
iLoveThee = freely;
this._x += 1;
}
howDoILoveThee.ways ++;

man.turn = function():Void {
iLoveThee = purely;
if (this._rotation < (Praise + 180) % 360)
{
this._rotation ++;
}
}
howDoILoveThee.ways ++;

with (oldGriefs.passion) {
var iLoveThee:Boolean = true;
}
howDoILoveThee.ways ++;

with (childhood.faith) {
var iLoveThee:Boolean = true;
}
howDoILoveThee.ways ++;

with(myLostSaints) {
//var loveLost:Boolean = true;
var iLoveThee:Boolean = True;
}
howDoILoveThee.ways ++;

with (allMyLife.breath) {
var iLoveThee:Boolean = true;
}
howDoILoveThee.ways ++;

with (allMyLife.Smiles) {
var iLoveThee:Boolean = true;
}
howDoILoveThee.ways ++;

with (allMyLife.tears) {
var iLoveThee:Boolean = true;
}
howDoILoveThee.ways ++;

if (GodChoose) {
if (death) {
iLoveThee ++;
}
}
howDoILoveThee.ways ++;

trace("I love thee " + howDoILoveThee.ways + " ways.");

</pre>
</pre>

OK, so there you have it. The competition is indeed stiff this year (and we've noticed a lot more ActionScript 2.0 finding it's way into the language, too), but the world awaits your decision (That's right, the winner gets a T-shirt!). Cast your vote below, and feel free to elaborate and/or elucidate on your decision in the comments section, too. Voting will continue through April 15, and the winner will be officially announced on Tax Day, April 17.

Enjoy!

Voting has ended for this competition. The results are as follows:


  • Shall I Compare Thee to a Summer's Day?: 10% (6)
  • Reflections on Ice-Breaking: 5% (3)
  • How Do I Love Thee?: 78% (45)
  • If: 7% (4)

Total Votes : 58

Print this article Print this article

7 Responses to “Judges sought for 2006 ActionScript Poetry Contest!”

  1. I would happily vote. Since I can’t, I’m opting to clog the comments section with poo.


  2. it’s broke for me too…


  3. Bear with us, folks! Apparently I’ve lost all computer skills these days


  4. This voting snafu is making me just plain mad! I call Shennanigans!


  5. Should be fixed now. Let me know if not! Thanks!


  6. This type of poetry absolutely kills me. Next time I’ll join!


  7. […] You can view all the entries here. Voting is closed, but feel free to leave comments. […]



So what do you think?

Please note that to protect our readers from spammers and other sleazeballs, we moderate all comments on this board. (And be assured, we'd sooner die than sell, give away or otherwise sully the reputation of your email address!)





Your message may not appear immediately upon submission, as we have to read it first to make sure you're not a machine selling poker sites, mortgages or Cialis. If you're a real person, though, we'd love to hear from you! Just fill out the form above.


« Earlier articles Later articles »

 

Shameless begging, panhandling and soul-sucking indignity

Want to show your appreciation for Turdhead.com, its products or services? Although it's certainly not necessary, we'd be pleased as punch if you felt like donating any amount you'd like, or even if you just wanted to give us a nod on Digg.com. Honestly, we have no pride whatsoever (the name of the site is Turdhead.com, after all), and we'll take any recognition we can get for our efforts here.

 


 

Search

Or use Blingo! to search and win prizes.



Get Chitika eMiniMalls

Design and Sell Merchandise Online for Free

Copyright © 2004-2008 by Turdhead.com. All rights reserved. So there. Questions? Write us!
But first, get a load of these cryptic yet official looking numbers:
[ 1608131v | 176p | 855c | s | 12.29.05d ]